Eat your heart out.

I just thought of an amazing idea !!

I am going to watch The Breakfast Club and I am going to finish the WHOLE movie because I never get too when it’s on :) this will make me a bit happy

Thank you internet for letting me watch movies online!!! Even if I can get a virus…

:D

So I’ve started to develop this problem with not eating again and it’s catching up on me.. I don’t want to go back to the hospital 

But I don’t care to stop

My mom is getting suspicious yet she doesn’t say anything  so I don’t know what she’s planning. So far when she sees me taking the pills on an empty stomach she says “you know your going to end up in the hospital again” then she yells at me so 

I’ve started to lie saying I ate.

My dad never knew my problem since he left us 5 years ago so my moms kept my secret but she says if I start again she’s gonna tell him and send me away

Am I afraid to go back to before? Yes. 

I’ve been distracted with friends I guess which is good I need distractions but even if I go out I feel alone like I don’t really belong with a group? 

I tend to over think a lot. 

It’s not that I give up on life it’s just that I don’t see anything going for me. I don’t see where I want to be or where I’m headed.

My mom says when I finish high school she’s leaving for California so I’m going to be here alone.

I’m scared. I don’t want to be alone. I am always alone. And to not even know how things will turn out by myself…… 

My friends they have their own problems and everything but all of them have Parents.  They have mom and dad.

Sure they don’t get along with them or anything  or you know they all have their issues but for me I wish I had that I mean my dad doesn’t care I exist he just cares about bringing his new bride down here the night I called him in the hospital all he had to say was I’m sorry I can’t be there for you right now I’m busy. LOL. And it’s worst that he says he speaks for the name of god. And my mom. 

We lost our connection. She see’s I need help but she’s afraid so she just ignores it. She moving with sergio and the kids and she’s leaving me again. This is the second time she’s going to leave me. And it hurts that I’m not that important to stick around for. Last year she gave up on me so I ended up moving in with my neighbors.

I was so happy god knows how much I wish my neighbors were my real family every night I spent there I was just happy. Katia she treated me like her daughter she took me out she helped me so much with my anger issues I’m so thankful she was there and Javi I’m not his daughter but he did everything to help me in school he helped me with everything. I’m not related to them but I’ve grown up next to them and to see that they did a lot for me and when no one was there they took me in just it hits me. I love them and their kids and I wish so bad to just be apart of that but I can’t  I had to leave . They said I could stay but I didn’t want to be a burden.

I don’t know.

This year sucks is all I’m going to say.

shyieesolove:

• When a person laughs too much, even on stupid things, that person is sad deep inside
• When a person sleeps a lot, that person is lonely
• When a person talks less and if he talks fast, that person is keeping a secret
• When a person can’t cry, that person is weak
• When a person eats in an abnormal way, that person is in tension
• When a person cries on little things, that person is softhearted
• When someone asks about you although that someone is busy, he/she really loves you

(via kawaiishu)